Google is building a fart button into Android

I simply don’t know how to feel about an incoming update to the Google Phone app that adds sound effects to the Android dialer. First spotted as part of a beta update by 9to5Google, the app may soon let you tap one of six “Audio Emoji” buttons to play a short sound clip that both sides of the call can hear.

There’s clapping, laughing, crying (a sad, sliding trombone), partying, a drum sting (ba-dum ts) and… poop, which emits a fart sound. You can access the buttons during a call by tapping the option in the dialer’s overflow menu or with a small flag positioned toward the bottom.

The dormant adolescent in me wants to try the poop button at least once with a trusted friend who won’t disown me for having a questionable sense of humor. Personally, I’d much rather hear these sounds (except farts) in my conversations as organic, genuine reactions. Who will actually get meaningful use out of this feature after that novelty quickly wears off?

If we’re going to do this, I’d love to see user-customizable audio, plus, perhaps, prerecorded messages and text-to-speech shortcuts. This initial list covers the basics, but I think it might be missing the mark a bit.

Realistically, this could all just be a product of boredom from one of Google’s engineers, and it’s alright if that’s how far this goes. Just, please, don’t spam your loved ones with it, unless your goal is to get them off the phone as soon as possible. (Thankfully, there’s a cooldown period that limits how often you can use the effects.) Google I/O is coming up May 14th, so hopefully, by then, we’ll get further insight into its thinking for this one.