Mustard Made’s Retro Lowdown Locker Makes It Easy to Store All My Stuff

I’ve always been the kind of person who’s surrounded by “doom piles”—random collections of my belongings that don’t necessarily have a rhyme or reason. I have ADHD and a love of Things, and I’m a Millennial who’s never had enough built-in storage in her home. Be it shoes, extra toiletries, random crafting supplies, or my ever-growing army of stuffed animals, I never knew where to put anything. And then I started a job as a product reviewer, and my collection of doom piles expanded twentyfold. I get stuff sent to my house for a living—and that stuff gets promptly deposited into piles around my office. And kitchen. And living room. And bedroom. And try as I might to corral it all with plastic totes and clear bins, those end up making my house feel like some sort of distribution center for my Stuff. Champagne problems, I know, but problems nonetheless.

This year is the year I decided I needed to figure out how to store and organize my things, both work and personal, once and for all. And the Mustard Made Lowdown Locker is one of the best solutions I’ve found so far. (No wonder Senior Commerce Editor Julian Chokkattu included these lockers in his Work-from-Home Gift Guide.)

Set It Up

This flat-pack locker comes in a long, rectangular box replete with plastic wrap and styrofoam. Assembly is relatively simple. I appreciated the clear paper instructions, plus the video instructions for visual learners like myself. All you really need is a standard cross-head screwdriver, though some assembly is easier if you have a pal around to help. I managed to set up The Lowdown all by myself, and I only swore a handful of times. (That’s a good thing compared to my usual sailor mouth when assembling anything for work.)

Photograph: Louryn Strampe

The metal pieces and panels are easy to piece together, though one of my back panels was either machined incorrectly or damaged during shipping, leading to an imperfect corner shape that made it hard to slot in on one side. After much swearing and elbow grease, I failed to move it back to where it should be. I ended up forging ahead with the rest of the assembly and it all worked out OK, though obviously this flaw is not ideal (and if you run into a similar situation, you can email photos to customer service and get your part replaced). Other than that, the pieces were all machined smoothly with few rough edges, and the paint was applied perfectly across every piece. And despite my slightly misshapen back panel, I managed to get everything squared away. It’s important to note that, after looking at other reviews online, this error seems to be an anomaly. Fully assembled, the locker is sturdy, and it looks fantastic. The doors stay put and the legs are straight. I do wish the doors snapped shut with a satisfying sound similar to the ones I’d slam in high school, but even without the tactile satisfaction, they’re solid.

Fill It Full

Each shelf of The Lowdown can hold almost 90 pounds—Your extra gift-wrapping supplies! Your workout equipment! Your random camping gear!—and you get a couple of extra brackets to adjust the default layout if you wish. The default layout is two shelves across the locker at the same height, but the extra brackets allow you to place each shelf at different heights. Those brackets are the only extra hardware pieces you get—another minor thing that bothered me. When I was attaching one of the handles, I dropped the teeny-tiny screw and washer. The washer disappeared into the jungle of my carpet. It ended up being fine—I just attached it with the screw—but if the screw had disappeared, I would’ve been quite upset. So keep track of your hardware while assembling!

Photograph: Louryn Strampe